1995-01-21: Role Reversal


Lupin_icon.gif Sirius_icon.gif

Scene Title Role Reversal
Synopsis For once, Lupin's the one to lose his temper.
Location #12, Grimmauld Place
Date Jan 21, 1995
Watch For Scary.
Logger Old Yeller

Sirius has managed to coax Mozambique to 'sign' a get well card for Holly. The cat's been a bit out of sorts with all the chaos in the home and Holly being gone. Animals have such a sixth sense about things. Mo also hasn't been thrilled with the overwhelming werewolfy smell from when Remus was first brought in. Sirius has had his work cut out for him on trying to 'talk' to the cat. To explain a few things about Remus, then to try and explain what's happened with Holly. It's a bit hard to rationalize these things to a cat, but he's trying. Sadly, this is something that needs to be done. Holly's going to want her cat back when she's out of Mungo's, but the cat needs to know that her 'mommy' is a bit different now. Also, this is something to keep Sirius occupied since Remus has been sulking and with good reason, and to keep him from rampaging on the Ministry.

Lupin has, indeed, stuck himself in a room for good reason. Or for what he believes is good reason, anyway. But today, he dares venture outside of his new found room and slowly looks around. He's peckish and he doesn't want to have to wait for food to come to him.

Having decided to leave Mo to her own devices, Sirius transforms back and walks out of the parlor, where he and the cat were conversing. He doesn't shut the door all the way, since he's let Mo have her run of the house. He glances to the stairs and then turns his gaze ceilingwards, debating on going up to the room Remus has been sulking in. On one hand, he knows his friend needs his alone time, but on the other? Stewing in your own thoughts are not good. (Not that Sirius would listen if you told him that.)

Lupin makes his way down the stairs slowly. He's not in much of a mood to alert anyone that he's out of the room. He doesn't exactly want to talk to too many people right now after all. He just hopes that the kitchen isn't currently occupied by Sirius or any other person who may be visiting. There aren't many people at present who could really cheer him up, not even his old friend.

Too bad Moony, too bad. Sirius is standing there, outside the parlor door, having not moved. It almost looks as if he's waiting for Remus when he descends from the stairs. He tries to offer up a smile of greeting, but fails. He heads towards Remus, hopefully in time to stop the man from going back upstairs. "I'm glad you came down, I've been worried about you."

Lupin nearly stops when he does see Sirius standing there. He slows down considerably, staring blankly at his old friend. "I'm hungry." He says to the other man, quite simply. "I thought I'd get myself food from the kitchen and then go back up." He replies.

Sirius reaches over to clasp Remus firmly on the shoulder. A brotherly gesture, and one meant to steer. "Come on then. I tired of fighting with Kreacher when I was cleaning earlier. I let him have one of mum's bracelets. He actually made something palatable." Yes. He's that put off by everything that's gone on. "So, come on with you. We'll eat properly at the table."

Lupin shakes his head a little. "No…no. I don't really want to impose any." He knows he wouldn't be an imposition, but it doesn't stop him from saying it. It's just his way of saying that he'd actually rather be alone right now. He can't bring himself to actually say it, though.

"Moony," Sirius says, a faint growl there in his throat. "You're not imposing. You've also been alone for quite long enough. I know you want to be, but it's not healthy. We've all got a good reason to curse that beast into the next century." Uhoh. Is he being the voice of reason? That's just a bit scary coming from this hothead. He's still intent on steering Remus down into the kitchen. "Just come down, have a bite, a drink, just a little socialization."

Lupin doesn't say a word for a moment as he's directed to the kitchen and the table. With the tables turned, he doesn't question it. It is rather unusual, though. Usually he's the one dishing out the advice and telling people what they need to hear, rather than what they want to hear. "I'd…I'd rather not…well, talk. I've got a lot on my mind. I'd prefer…" A pause. "I'd prefer to be on my own."

"Moony, you can't hide forever," Sirius says in a quiet manner, even as he makes sure Remus gets seated at the table. "You also don't need to be alone." Roast beef sandwiches and a tasty French onion soup are soon served up, along with a mug of strong, sweet tea. Remus is served first before Sirius settles into a seat next to him, with food of his own. "I'll say my piece, then I'll rattle on about Quidditch scores or some rubbish.. or just shut my gob and eat. You're my friend, my best mate, I don't like seeing you beat yourself up for something that was in no way your fault. That hag will pay, we'll all see to it. We've known each other since we were eleven, I know you. So I understand why you're trying to shut everyone out, well I won't let you do that for long. I know you need to sort this out in your mind, but I hate watching you cut yourself off."

Lupin doesn't start eating right away once he's been served. He stares at the food for a few moments, despite saying he wanted food. It isn't until Sirius speaks again that he starts to eat. He doesn't want to have to respond. Not just yet. Starting on the soup, he gets half way through before he finally speaks. "You can say it's not my fault…but I'm still the one who bit her, who infected her. If it hadn't been for all of you, she would have died. I would have killed her." He takes a few shaky breaths to calm himself down once more, anger having welled up a bit, and obvious in his features. He's very angry about this, obviously. "I should not have let her stay at the Shack. I should not have gone to visit her. Especially not so near to the full moon. If I hadn't, none of this would have happened. So you see? In a way, it was my fault." Even his voice is slightly shaky. "I have ruined her life, Padfoot. Ruined it. She'll never be able to have have the life she wanted to because of me!"

Sirius is staring down at his own meal, and stabbing moodily at the beef with a fork. "Moony, it's my fault. I'm the reason Holly's here. The trial? This wouldn't have happened. I should have kept my head down and stayed in hiding. This wouldn't have happened otherwise. I also shouldn't have been so .. a right berk around her. She would have stayed put." He sets his fork down and turns to face Remus, "I'm to blame as well.. Dammit. No. We can sit and kick ourselves in the arse all we want about who's at fault here. You know as well as I do, that the horrid little beast who calls herself Minister, that she orchestrated this. The fault lies squarely on her shoulders. Without her interference, we could have kept you in check and away from people. You've ruined no one's life. Umbridge is the one who's done that. She used you, and I will not stand for it. I plan on being there when Phoenix points the blame at her." Despite Alistaire flat out not wanting Sirius to leave hiding. For a moment, Sirius looks as if he's going to get out of his seat and pace, but he stays put. The restraint he's exercising is immense, and not at all something he's used to doing. "Remus.. If not this, it could have been something else. She needs us, she needs our support now. The doors aren't completely closed to either of you."

Lupin takes laboured breaths in, controlling his anger. He's not usually the one who has to control his emotions. It's like they've reversed their rolls, Sirius the Calm and Lupin the Loopy. "You are not to blame Sirius Black. She may have wanted a break from you, but it was me who gave her a place to stay. In HOGSMEADE of all place. I thought the obvious would be the best. I thought no one would think of the Shrieking Shack! I could have made her stay here! I could have, Sirius!" He says, now sounding somewhat angry. "Doors may not seem completely closed, but they are pretty well. The only reason I had my one job at the Ministry was because my boss was a vampire! A Hogwarts professor? Because Dumbledore trusted me completely. Most of the general public hate and shun us werewolves! And with good reason! Look what has happened here. A good woman has been seriously harmed and transformed into a beast!"

"The two of you? You're not beasts. You're letting yourself be labeled as such. The hag sitting on high? She and her ilk are the real beasts." Sirius seems to be growing calmer and calmer, yet it's anyone's guess as to how long this will last. Maybe it's because he wanted Remus to get angry, to vent, to just let himself explode a bit. "You took her to where you were safe for so many years. Perhaps you could have forced her to stay here, perhaps not. Don't you think that things happen for a reason? Maybe it's the case here, although we just can't see it. Not yet." Abandoning all pretense of eating, he drops his utensils and just sighs. "Dumbledore trusted you. He gave you a chance, along with a few others I might add. You're a good person, better than those would would label and classify you as otherwise. I wholeheartedly believe that you would never, ever, willingly place yourself in a position to harm others. You and Holly both were used."

"Don't you think I know I'm not a beast? It's…it's…people like Fenrir Greyback and his ilk who are the monsters!" Oh yes, Lupin does think that of the man who infected him. With good reason too, he'd add. "I don't know if things happen for a reason, okay? Not everything. You could say they do, but do they really?" He snorts. "Look, I don't even know why we're talking about this. This isn't exactly dinner table conversation is it? The big bad wolf he bit the poor innocent foreign girl."

"Exactly, and I don't want you forgetting that." Sirius finally picks up his sandwich and tears off a huge bite. He's quiet while he eats that, listening to Remus before reaching over to clap his old friend on the shoulder. "No, it's not exactly the right type of conversation. Yet, you know me, I never cared much for propriety to start with. Of course you bit her, and nothing is going to change that. We can however, stop that bint from doing this to others for some sick revenge." He reaches for his tea and takes a drink before adding, "Do you at least feel better now that you've ranted a bit?"

Lupin snorts angrily. He's still fuming. "No, you've never cared much. Never. Not even in school." He grumbles, finishing off his soup. "But no, I can't say as I do feel all that much better. Can you imagine? Thirty years almost I've been infected. And in all those thirty years, with all the precautions, this happened. It doesn't matter how it came about, it's the fact that it happened!" He takes a deep breath in. "And the after taste of that night still hasn't left. I've tried so hard to resist those darker urges that come with being a werewolf. And this has set it back!"

"This never should have happened and nothing will change that. If I could reverse this, I would. You're a brother to me Remus, and I hate seeing this happen to you." Sirius turns to look at Lupin, a cold fury as well as sadness in his expression. "I'm sure it will take some time, but you'll regain the ground that you've lost." For a moment, he looks like he wants to say more, then turns back to his own meal. "If anyone comes by later, I can keep them distracted if you want some more time to yourself." But not too much longer, Sirius was.. ah.. serious about not letting Lupin stay in the doldrums for long. "Tonks has been pretty damn heartbroken about this. Someone put a horrible memory charm on her, otherwise we could have gotten to you two sooner."

Lupin looks down at his sandwich, taking a little bite out of it. "You're a good friend, Padfoot. You always were. You and Prongs were perhaps the best friends I've ever had." He purposefully doesn't mention Wormtail. "Dora…I wish she wouldn't blame herself. Of all the people, she is the most blameless. She has nothing to worry about. But I hope I didn't frighten her too badly. Of everyone, you knew what to expect when you saw me. No one else can really prepare themselves for seeing an actual werewolf." He sighs deeply. He stands, taking the place with the sandwich with him. "Look, I'm gonna go back up to my room. I…I don't really feel like talking any more."

"Frightened? Of you? She's been nothing but worried about you since." Sirius reaches over to give Remus a one armed hug, whether it's wanted or not. "I'll check in on you later. You've got friends here who care about you. We all need each other." He stays in the room, to finish off his own meal, letting Remus retreat for now.

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