Nigel Crumlish
Nigel Sebastian Crumlish
Portrayed By Ed Westwick
House Ravenclaw
Year 7th
Position Student (Prefect), Con Artist
Sex Male
Race Half-Blood
Age 18
Place of Birth London, England
Date of Birth November 1, 1977
Family Bianca Crumlish (Mother, Muggle); Sebastian Crumlish (Father, Wizard); Antigone Atherton (Second Cousin, Hufflepuff)
Marital Status Single (and Mingling)
First Appearance Opportunisty Knocks
Last Appearance


When Bianca Naples met Sebastian Crumlish, she had no idea on Earth that he would steal her heart. In fact, the plan was to steal his money and move on to the next guy like she always had done. Instead, though, love triumphed over her seductress nature and the two found themselves getting married within a year of their initial meeting. Secrets needed to be explained, though and Sebastian revealed to her his true nature… that of being a wizard. When Bianca woke up (she, of course, fainted at this knowledge and the proof of such things), she fell in love with Sebastian all over again and their life together prospered from there.

November 1, 1977 was the birth of their only child, Nigel Sebastian Crumlish. It was a very simple birth, with minimal complications and the fainting of Sebastian multiple times during the process. Everything was smooth sailing from there, considering that Bianca chose to be a stay at home mother and Sebastian made more than enough money to care for his small family. They were a simple family, with simple needs and simple tastes. Of course, nothing can ever really stay that simple, can it?

Young Nigel excelled in one thing during the first half of his schooling… numbers. He had a way with them ever since he could talk. Spending time with his mother, every day, allowed him a few good insights into her life before she settled down. They had a very good relationship and she felt that secrets would only hinder it, so she told him everything about her less than ethical means of survival. Fascinated, Nigel began to play around with his own ethics, taking after his mother by age seven. Public school was the perfect breeding ground for this kind of experimentation.

Unfortunately, for Nigel, he had no idea of his father's side of the family. Or anything that may come of it. He wasn't introduced to this until the letter came for him to head to Hogwarts. The conversation with his parents was fairly easy and the smile that creeped onto Nigel's face upon hearing that he would be attending a school of magic was so creepily epic that it cannot be properly redescribed. Nigel practically dove into the world of magic and hasn't come up for air since.

Life at Hogwarts for Nigel Crumlish consisted mainly of three things: Money, Detention and Howlers. He took his mother's inadvertent advice and ran with it, turning himself into a self-created hustler of sorts within the castle walls. In the beginning, he started small with the buying and reselling of objects at inflated prices. He moved onto larger enterprises as he got older, taking advantage of the incoming first years and exploiting their naivety about Hogwarts and how things work. When things got too hot, he usually found himself in detention and dealing with paying back at least half of his earnings on a regular basis. Many letters from Sebastian (usually constituting begging and pleading) are probably what kept him from getting expelled. Then again, nothing he ever did was truly dangerous. He was just a young entrepreneur!

Having been sorted into the Ravenclaw House, Nigel continued to excel at numbers, money and anything else related to such endeavors. He managed to breeze through most of his classes, doing just enough to be considered above average, but never enough to excel. He would much rather use his keen mind to get around the system. He was truly a math whiz to be reckoned with and could very likely have a future in accounting or something, if he could get his mind out of the gutter of taking the quick and easy route.

Literally thriving on Get Rich Quick Schemes and other Petty Cons, Nigel Crumlish tends to be a thorn in the pockets of many of the students at Hogwarts. Money makes the Wizarding World go 'round, no?


Selfish. Conniving. Clever. A Pain In The Butt.

All of these things manage to describe Nigel Sebastian Crumlish in some way, shape or form. And these are just the tame adjectives. He tends to be something of an overconfident egomaniac, upon first impressions. His attitude is clearly one that tends to come off as 'Ruling The School', but whether that's true is a fact that has yet to be determined. He's very interested in furthering his own wants, needs and desires and will not hesitate to step on others in order to do that. In the same manner of speaking, though, he's considerably loyal to those that are friends or, at the very least, regular customers.

Which brings around the next point that Nigel is a very business-minded individual. He tends to look at almost everything as a possible investment or endeavor, whether or not money is exchanging hands. He prides himself on being capable of handling major decisions of different natures and will not hesitate to offer some sound advice and then proceed to hit the victim with a high priced invoice. He's just that kind of guy that will pay more attention to the money coming his way than he would anything else. Not because he doesn't care about the 'anything else', but because he cares about the money more than 'anything else'.

Even though he's something of a sneaky punk, Nigel still has something close to a good heart and soul. He never really considers the fact that hustling kids out of their money is a bad thing. Justification in his brain consists of the fact that, no matter what he spin doctors out of his mouth, his victims always have a choice. If they choose him and get burned? It's another lesson learned. Nothing is ever Nigel's fault. Taking responsibility for things is just something that Nigel doesn't do very well. It's always someone else's fault. Or the product. Or the environment. He's very shifty like that.

Oh! And he's also a budding womanizer. What a wonderful young man, right?

Roleplaying Connections

  • Family: If, for some odd reason, anyone is interested in playing Bianca or Sebastian Crumlish, they are available. In addition to such things, while Nigel doesn't have any immediate siblings or what not, the Crumlish side of the family is large and has a vast array of archetypes available for play. Should anyone be considering such, feel free to contact Nigel (on game) with the idea and something could surely be worked out.
  • Enforcers: Nigel is not a fighter and thus he's not really in a position to bully others into buying his products and lies, nor is he in a position to really protect himself against those that wish physical harm upon his sexy self. I'm always on the look out for muscle (be it physical or magical) to help Nigel on his journey to rule the school. Salary and Benefits Packages are available.
  • Sidekick: With Nigel Crumlish being the Zack Morris of Hogwarts, it's only natural that he come with a bumbling sidekick to help ruin as many of his schemes in an inadvertent way as possible. Playing this role can also come with being BFFs with Nigel and that's something that should have people beating down my door for this role.
  • Girls: Nigel Crumlish is working on being a Womanizer like his mother accidentally taught him to be with her Manizer ways. Thus, the opposite sex is always needed. They can come from all walks of life and Houses, Nigel truly isn't picky. As long as they are cute, he's more than willing to show off his wand.
  • Enemies: Over his years at Hogwarts, Nigel has probably made quite a few enemies. Whether selling some faulty products or just generally being a nuisance and hustling people out of their money, Nigel is not exactly on everyone's favorite person's list. Oh and the stuff he pulls at Hogsmeade should be illegal (probably is!) has probably gotten him more Crumlish Hating Crews than he knows what to do with. Could be interesting.


Icon Name Relationship Notes

Extra Information

  • Surname: Crumlish is a semi-known wizarding name. It dates back a long time, though it has always been associated with a more simple themed family of wizards and witches. The kind of reputation that's only a reputation because the simplicity is so simple that it breaks the conventional rules of average.
  • Pet: Squirt, an Elf Owl with the same sneaky, conniving and selfish tendencies as his owner. Kelptomaniac.
  • Wand: 12" rigid wand made of beech with a dragon heartstring core.
  • Patronus: Fox (cunning, strategy, quick-thinking, adaptability, cleverness, passion)
  • Classes: Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Potions, Transfiguration
  • Electives: Arithmancy, Muggle Studies, Advanced Defensive Theory
  • Best Class: Arithmancy, Muggle Studies
  • Worst Class: Astronomy, Transfiguration
  • Math Prodigy: Nigel is very, very good with numbers. Even to the point where he calculates things without even knowing it. It's become second nature to him and he tends to use this to calculate odds in a strategic manner to further his own plots and schemes. This isn't to say he's the best in the school or anything like that, but he's number cruncher if there ever was one. He's a Ravenclaw for a reason.
  • Spin Doctor: In addition to his numerical expertise, Nigel has a way with words. He tends to play with them a lot, in order to keep his customers in a volatile loop and unable to keep up with his conniving ways. Clever wordplay is always his first line of defense against those that may want to pound him if they've been caught up in one of his games.
  • Pop Culture (Muggle): Having spent the first half of his life in the Muggle World, Nigel has a tendency to be very well-versed in the pop culture of Muggles and such. He's very interested in that aspect of his life and will not abandon it for the Wizarding World. He carefully balances his knowledge of both and makes it a point to keep up with aspects of both. He's more well versed in the Muggle world's culture, though.
  • Player: Nigel Sebastian Crumlish likes to think of himself as something of a Player. He's been known to even forego his original evil plans if there's the presence of a pretty lady around. He's a pursuer of those that he can't have, in addition to those that he can. He feels that someone of his epically awesome stature deserves to have a harem of witches to surround himself with. Contrary to most 'womanizers', he's not looking for love or some hidden hopeless romantic. He's a teenager. He just wants to have fun!
  • House Loyalty: One of the few redeeming qualities of Nigel Sebastian Crumlish is the fact that he is, after all, a Ravenclaw through and through. No matter the cost, stakes or threat, he will remain loyal to those in his House above and beyond all else. From getting beat down by a pack of Slytherins for not giving up the location of a particular Ravenclaw to ultimate decorations for the Quidditch team. Nigel is all about the Ravenclaw House and that's something the Ravenclaws should all know and (hopefully) respect.
  • Locksley: Now, while it's true that Nigel Sebastian Crumlish is mostly out for himself and his own wants and desires, never let it be said that he doesn't help out those in need. When students are in dire straits, for whatever reason, they may need to find themselves coming to Nigel for some kind of assistance. His personality aside, he's usually reliable enough to assist in most cases, depending on the situation. When the chips are down, Nigel Crumlish will come to the rescue. Possibly even for Slytherins.
  • Favorite Quidditch Team: Montrose Magpies
  • Favorite Player: Stanford "Steady" Whitman (Seeker, Montrose Magpies)
  • Favorite Band: Phoenix Down (A nu metal/rapcore styled band that's reminiscent of Linkin Park)
  • Favorite Song: Spellbinder by Phoenix Down, from the album Reborn Again

The Crumlish Corporation

The Crumlish Corporation's vast array of enchanted items!

Name Description Notes Price
Just Shoot Me Chewable gummi candies that take away pain within 30 seconds of ingestion. Multi-Flavored. Unfortunately, about an hour later, the pain returns (magnified) as a shooting pain. 2 Sickles (Per Bottle)
HistoriQuill Enchanted Quills that provide notes for any of the core classes at Hogwarts. Range: 1st - 6th Year. Unfortunately, the notes provided from the HistoriQuill are from a decade ago. Out of date information. 5 Sickles
Wake N' Work Small red pills that are designed to give an extra boost to staying awake and studying hard. Unfortunately, the Wake N' Work formula is not perfected as it works the opposite of the desired effect. Zzzzzzz. 2 Sickles (Per Bottle)
Spare Wands Custom wands designed to work as spares for those that need them. Takes a combination of magic and time to create these wands. These wands hardly ever work as they should. They are usually either Duds or work for one spellcasting gone horribly wrong before they fall apart. 2 Galleons
Tear Aways Uniforms and Robes for every House that are designed to tear away or fall apart when tugged or pulled on. Excellent for Pranking. Valid Product. 5 Sickles
Ravenclaw Pride Various items ranging from streamers to pins to posters and stickers to help represent the Ravenclaw house. Valid Products. Various Pricing.
Custom Chocolate Frog Cards Custom, authentic, chocolate frog cards are available! Put your favorite wizard, witch or even yourself on one of these cards and be immortalized forever! Valid Product. 10 Sickles.


  • Squirt's kleptomania has gotten Nigel into many a confrontation with other students and even some professors. Most of which end up with Nigel having to replace or pay for the stolen/damaged goods.
  • Contrary to popular belief, Nigel did not train Squirt to steal anything not nailed down. Or did he?
  • It is a well known fact that Nigel Crumlish is not a fighter by any stretch of the imagination. He's more than likely going to talk his way out of trouble (or catching a beat down from some larger students) than physical violence.
  • While Nigel is a super math genius, his player is not. So do just pretend that Nigel's numerical wizardry is astonishing… unless you're Hermione.
  • Rumor has it that Nigel is a Compulsive Liar. However, the person that stated this as fact was Nigel himself, so it could actually be a lie. Try to keep up.
  • Nobody knows how the heck Nigel Crumlish managed to become a Prefect. When asked, he tells a different story every time. Also, none of the Professors will ever admit to helping make this so. Weird.

Memorable Quotes



Date Log Characters
21 Opportunisty Knocks
Nigel consoles his cousin, while trying to make a much needed sale.
Antigone, Ron, Hermione, Nigel
24 Family Values
Antigone catches up with Nigel at the Lake and he shows that he does have a heart.
Antigone, Nigel
26 Polyjuiced
Nigel attends Potions class, without much excitement, until Snape pulls a fast one that could tun out to be quite profitable.
Antigone, Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ophelia, Walter, Mei, Snape, Nigel


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